Behind the Scenes LOTF
by Sarinelli
Summary: Find out how the characters of LOTF (Lord of the Flies) are really like!


Behind the Scenes (LOTF)  
  
Characters: Jack Ralph Piggy Roger Simon Samneric Interviewer Cameraman  
  
The Names Defy  
  
Welcome to Sarinelli's "Behind the Scenes" interview with the people of Lord of the Flies. Look for this title "Behind the Scenes" to find more of our fanfics. :]  
Disclaimer: LOTF characters are the copyright of William Golding, meaning that we did not create them ourselves.  
  
The interviewer and the cameraman are making their way inside the studio. Everything seems normal and they first spot Jack, eating a roasted pig.  
  
Interviewer: Hello, Jack. May we ask you some questions for our interview?  
  
Jack: MmHm? -his mouth is full of meat-  
  
Interviewer: How does it feel like to be chief of your own faction?  
  
Jack: Chief?! Did someone say chief?! -stands up abruptly and drops pig meat- I am chief. Me! No one else can be chief, but ME!  
  
Interviewer: Um...yeah. Sorry about that.  
  
Cameraman: We were just wondering about your rivalry with Ralph.  
  
Interviewer: Yes, he was originally chief.  
  
Jack: CHIEF?! I will kill you! All of you who wish to deny the fact that I am chief! No one can take my place! Me! Me! Meee!  
  
Interviewer: Yeah, uh...So, anyway... How's your relationship with the other boys?  
  
Jack: They hunt well.  
  
Interviewer: As chief, did they—  
  
Jack: CHIEF! I AM CHIEF! YES! HEHEHAW! KILL THE PIG! WHOO!  
  
Piggy: -walks by and waves to camera in the background-  
  
Jack: PIG! BAH HA HA! COME BACK, BEASTIE! I MUST EAT YOU!!!  
  
Interviewer: -runs after Piggy- Wait! I need to ask you some questions!  
  
Jack: Hey! I'm not finished here! KILL THE PIG. SLIT HIS THROAT! BASH HIM IN!  
  
The interviewer scurries away with the cameraman behind.  
  
Piggy: Oh, is it my turn now? -wipes spectacles-  
  
Interviewer: Before we start...is there something we should know about you?  
  
Piggy: Yes, yes. You see this? -rubs belly-  
  
Cameraman: Hard not to notice.  
  
Piggy: -unzips belly jacket and reveals a coat full of blubbery pads- I'm not really that fat.  
  
Interviewer: ...my, you are very...well-shaped.  
  
Piggy: I work out. And you see this? -picks up glasses-  
  
Interviewer: In the movie as well as the book, you are very near-sighted.  
  
Piggy: -throws glasses- it's actually made out of plain glass. I don't need it. And this...-Piggy removes the mask to reveal a face with glistening blue eyes and lush blonde hair- I'm not really all that ugly.  
  
Interviewer: Well, well...You're quite a handsome lad...  
  
Piggy: Yeah, well... -flicks his hair- I don't think I get enough screen time.  
  
Interviewer: Is there something else your fans should know?  
  
Piggy: ...I'm not straight.  
  
Cameraman/interviewer:...  
  
Piggy: Hey there, big boys. I'm single, you know. -edges toward the interviewer and cameraman-  
  
Interviewer: Err, that's...n-nice...Yeah...OKAY! Anyway, onto...  
  
Cameraman: Ralph!  
  
Interviewer: He's the only sane one around here.  
  
Ralph: -is found sitting quietly on a chair looking at his feet-  
  
Interviewer: Hullo, Ralph!  
  
Ralph: -looks up at interviewer- Huh?  
  
Interviewer: We would like to ask you some questions.  
  
Cameraman: he's a quiet boy now, isn't he?  
  
Ralph: I...I...I'm alive.  
  
Interviewer: Uh...yeah. What do you do after your career as...  
  
Ralph: -whispers- are they here?  
  
Interviewer: What are you talking about?  
  
Ralph: They...they want to kill me. KILL ME!  
  
Interviewer: Uh...  
  
Ralph: I can't...I must escape this island! LET ME OUT!  
  
Interviewer: Er... -looks anxiously at the cameraman-  
  
Cameraman: Don't look at me, I just film.  
  
Ralph: -eyes dart- They're everywhere... And...-inches closer to the camera- I can hear them... -points to his temple- In my BRAIN...  
  
Ralph: LET ME OUT! LET ME OUT!  
  
Cameraman: Why don't we move on?  
  
-Samneric stroll by, squabbling over a fruit juice-  
  
Interviewer: Ah! Samneric! Over here!  
  
Samneric: -stumbles towards interviewer-  
  
Eric: I'm Eric—  
  
Sam: --and I'm Sam!  
  
Interviewer: It's nice to meet you, Samneric—  
  
Eric: NO! NO SAMNERIC! ERICNSAM! ERICNSAM !  
  
Interviewer: All right, Ericnsam—  
  
Sam: NO! Samneric! SAMNERIC!  
  
Interviewer: Okay, Samneric....  
  
Eric: No! ERIC first. Eric. Ericnsam!  
  
Interviewer: All right, all right! Can we get in on already?  
  
Sam: Ask me first!  
  
Eric: No me!  
  
Sam: I go first because I'm older.  
  
Eric: -squabbles- It's always Sam, Sam, Sam! NEVER ME!!! LOVE ME ! -sobs-  
  
Sam: Don't hate me because I'm beautiful.  
  
Interviewer: Um, actually, you two are twins...  
  
Sam: Twins?! HIM? Look at that fat! YOU SEE THAT FAT?! -pokes Eric with a stick-  
  
Eric: -sobs- I-I'm telling mum!  
  
Sam: Baby!  
  
Eric: -grabs stick and jabs Sam- BABY?! BABY??! I'LL SHOW YOU WHO'S BABY!!! -tackles Sam to the floor-  
  
-Samneric wrestle, spitting out cusses-  
  
Interviewer: I guess this is the best time to uh...yeah...  
  
Cameraman: Simon's room is around here.  
  
The interviewer and cameraman spot a door labeled "Simon" across a golden star. They knock and an unusually manly voice comes through the door.  
  
Simon: Who is it?  
  
Interviewer: We're here for an interview.  
  
Simon: -opens door- Oh, come come. Do come in, my dears. -flashes superstar smile with perfectly straight teeth-  
  
Interviewer: We heard that you were a little looney in the show...is it true?  
  
Simon: Me? -flips open a picture- do I really look that...how do you say...looney? Que sera sera.  
  
Interviewer: So you're really an...Italian? Simon: Si, si! –laughs- I am from Italia !  
  
Interviewer: that's nice  
  
Simon: I saw...the head  
  
Interviewer: What head?  
  
Simon: My lord. My lord of the flies. He spoke to me. -throws open closet- The closet looks more like a shrine, surrounded with scented candles and a giant pig head atop a stake in the center.  
  
Interviewer: -squeaks- We'll just uh...  
  
Cameraman: ...go.  
  
The two rush out of the room, screaming in their heads in the insanity of it all. Interviewer: All right, next is Roger. Be careful. He is the most dangerous of them all.  
  
Cameraman: Roger that.  
  
They spot Roger playing with his dog.  
  
Interviewer: I hope he doesn't plan on eating that.  
  
Roger: Oh, hey guys. Are you here for an interview?  
  
Interviewer: -whispers to Cameraman- Stay at least five feet away from him.  
  
Roger: It's okay. I'm not really like how I am in the book.  
  
Interviewer: Why don't you just tell us about yourself?  
  
Roger: Okay. I enjoy spending time with my friends and family. On the weekends, my dad would take me to soccer games. I'm planning to become a famous soccer player one day. Oh, did you know that my uncle was also really good at soccer?  
  
The interviewer had already disappeared with the cameraman by the time he finished.  
  
Roger: They're all like that. I guess the others scared them off.  
  
-Outside of the building....-  
  
Interviewer: -wipes forehead- That was close...  
  
Cameraman: You know, I think that Roger was the most normal...  
  
Interviewer: Alright, who's the interviewer here? You? No? OKAY THEN!  
  
Cameraman: ...whatever.  
  
Interviewer: Hmph... Well, who's next?  
  
Cameraman: I wouldn't know, Mr. Interviewer...  
  
Interviewer: Bu-wh-- Are you giving me lip?!  
  
Cameraman: -coughs and whisper- Time to end the show...  
  
Interviewer: WHO CARES ABOUT THE FRICKIN' SHOW! I QUIT, YOU HEAR? I QUIT!  
  
Sari: It seems—  
  
Elli: --the interviewer had gone insane.  
  
Sari: When it was really—  
  
Elli: --that the others had been acting.  
  
Sarinelli: See y'all! 


End file.
